they say a picture speaks a thousand words don’t they? which in this case is a good thing, because I am not sure I have the words to describe or explain where I have been the past few months and where I am heading in the future. So instead, I will use these (extemely unglamourous) pics to tell my story.
the snap shot (obviously) is that we have had an unsuccessful round of IVF. The drawn out version would involve words like heartbreak, turmoil, breakdown and uncertainty. Yucky words that invoke even yuckier feelings..for me anyways.
The process itself wasn’t as harrowing as I thought it was going to be – namely the needles (was injecting myself like a pro by the end of it). The meds did make me slightly nauseas and tired but I think the emotion of it all probably played a role in that also. Retrieving the eggs was easy peasy because I got one of those delicious anaesthetics that sends you off to a deep, heavy, relaxing sleep – which needless to say had been lacking in my night time routine for the previous few weeks. The egg transfer was a little more upsetting – apparantly it should be able to be done without any knocking out required at all – but my cervix (being the arsehole that it is) didnt want to play the game, so after a painful attempt it was off to sleepy time again for me (not complaining about that at all tho!).
So that’s what happened with that. That’s it. (There is obviously more to the story – but I am not ready to get into that yet, so instead just know that I am thankful for every single person who has put up with my fucking hectic behaviours and wallowing self pity this year – I promise Positivity Pants Sara is on her way back…sooner rather than later hopefully!)
Love and light y’all